You want to look once?
Sure.
Who's...
Not your father then, sir?
He is not my father.
Huh?
He is not his dad, he is not my husband.
Sorry, sir!
First time this happened with the Karan Company.
Maybe...ID cards were exchanged.
We will bring your father's body.
- Nancy! - Huh?
Nancy, you won't believe what happened.
- They brought the wrong body. - What?
Yeah! It's good that I saw the face.
Otherwise, I would have given my speech for some stranger.
What are you saying? You're going to give the funeral speech?
Of course! Why?
In your brother brian's presence?
Brian has written 15 hit novels.
It's not just me. Everyone will be expecting the speech from him.
But Brian isn't the elder brother.
And then dad always loved me the most. So, naturally, I will give the speech.
Fine! You give the speech.
Just finish the funeral formalities
so that we can move into our new house
- But this is our house. - and then we can start our own life.
Nancy. Nancy, we should talk about that once again.
This house has dad's memories.
You know, this is the house he built.
His memories...
- But what...about my mom? - You've served your parents for a long time.
Give Brian a chance to serve. Let him take your mother.
I can't live a minute longer with her.
If I stay here,
then Karan Company will get another contract for a coffin.
I'll die.
And then you can give your speech again.
- You never seem to understand. - OK, OK, OK.
Within a few days we will do something about the flat, I promise.
A few days?
Today, I called the estate agent to come here.
- He must be on his way... - On the way? I am here, madam.
- Who? What are you doing in my bedroom? - No problem, sir. I'm comfortable.
- What do you mean you're comf...? - Sorry to hear about your father, sir.
- How did your father die? - Heart Attack.
He was jogging.
- How fast was he going? - 10.5.
People say, sir, speed thrills, but kills.
Uh-huh. Steve.
Sign and give him the deposit, my darling.
- Steve? - Yeah, mom, coming.
- One Minute. - No problem. I'm comfortable.
Thank you.
- Shit! - Don't pretend. Lust is showing in your eyes, Carlos.
- You're crazy about women. - Come on, man, Jenny. I was just being a gentleman.
I stopped the car so she could cross the street.
You wouldn't have allowed me to cross.
You might have even run over me.
Enough now, for God's sake. You just need to think about it.
Have you ever seen me in any hanky panky?
- Why do I care if somebody's panky. - If I had seen you,
then today I wouldn't be going my uncle's funeral but yours.
Jen, I just respect women, and that's all.
I give respect to a woman, and in return take her respect.
Maria! Why are you taking me to the funeral?
You just don't wanna come because my dad will be there.
- Yes...no, no... He hates me, right? - Not that much.
My dad's sister's husband has died. And I want you to come and be a part of our family.
Why are you so scared?
Have you forgotten that Christmas dinner evening?
Where your father was cutting mutton...and staring at me.
It seems he wasn't cutting mutton but getting ready to eat me alive.
Mike, why are you acting like this? Stay calm, Mike.
You should handle everything peacefully.
Look out! You dirty swine! Can't you see the bright red sign, damned Fuehrer?
So what I was saying?
- That you should handle everything peacefully. - Suckers!
- Finally! - If you don't like it, drive yourself.
Listen to him, Maria. Can you believe him. Come on now. Don't be a chicken.
Shake your miserable doodle of a backside. We'll be late for the appointment.
You're a son-of-a-dog, you know that, huh?
I am Steven's best friend.
So we have to go. The point...why are you going?
I met mom twice, basically. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but the first time...
I said "hi" from far away. And the second time was on the mall's lift on the third level for a floor.
You know all people that much, so you'd have to attend all of Goa's funerals.
I know that I have hurt him. I get it. Maria...
Why bring this idiot, he simply is not funny. He speaks before he thinks.
Yep.
Look at this. How irresponsible.
Maybe I talk too much, but you've misplaced your diamond earring. Why?
It's not my earring.
I don't wear such cheap earrings.
- Whose earring is this, Carlos? - It's not mine, Jenny.
I swear on my life, I don't know whose this is! Clients come in the car. Anybody can come in the car.
You liar! You're going to get it this time!
Jenny! Jenny! Stop, Jenny. I'm driving a car now! I'm driving a car! Jenny! I'm driving...
But, sir, the flat is across from the sea.
People with a family like having a flat near the sea.
You see, the flat is facing the sea, and it will be your flat.
- Shit! - There is also a space for shit.
- Please! Nancy, I forgot to pick up Uncle Murphy. - No problem, no problem.
Hello... Yeah... Hello.
- Hey, Carlos! Problem with Uncle Murphy. - What?
- Is he also dead? - No, man.
Why do you always think like that? Problem is, I forgot to pick up uncle Murphy.
Will you do that for us, please.
Huh. OK, whatever.
OK, thank you, Carlos. Thank you. I owe you one. Thanks.
This flat's frontage is to the sea. You will be comfortable, sir!
Do you understand
that you can dive from your flat?
Hey, Wilson. You always complained that you didn't get enough kick in my stuff.
You better watch tonight's party.
Every capsule is a 2-inch bazooka bazooka.
Each copy is an UFO. Unidentified Flying Object.
Yes, we will meet after the funeral. Coming! Yeah, coming, coming!
Have you gone mad? You think I haven't concealed the drug?
I'm transporting the drug in a Relaxo bottle. An ordinary Relaxo bottle. Nobody will suspect.
It's gonna blow your mind. Coming! Coming, coming. Wait!
Maria, my baby sister. Michael, what's up, bro, what's up.
- You are naked? - I am not naked, I'm wearing shorts.
Okay, forget it, I will be back, wearing pants. Sit down.
- Michael, are you coming to the funeral? - Yeah!
What am I, the only bad one? You got guts, man. You're crazy. Especially after last Christmas' party.
How dad was staring at you while cutting the mutton?
It seemed that he was going cut off your ball... Harry, shut up!
- Excuse me? What? - Give up. - One gets a cook.
Michael, see how fully she keeps him on a tight leash. Mike don't know jack.
- Huh? - Michael, you OK? - No.
Maria, people die first, then they go to the funeral.
Me? I will go to the funeral first, then I will die.
- Maria, your father's going to kill me. He's gonna kill me... - Nothing like that will happen. You just...
- Relaxant. -Huh?
- Just have one of these. - What is this? - It'll calm you down. Relaxant.
- You sure? - Yes, yes. - Well, mabye... OK. I have it.
- You sure? - Yes, dear.
Come on, sis. Come on, my going-to-be brother-in-law.
Michael, give me the keys. I will drive.
Love to love you, baby.
Sir, you called me?
Sandra...Income Tax Officer, Mr. Douglas, has died.
Unfortunately, I can't make it, so on my behalf send some flowers, OK?
- OK, sir. - Thank you, love.
- Hello. - Mr. Carlos? Hi. Ayesha here.
Ayesha. God's timing, not to worry, sweetheart.
I was just looking at your photographs.
For my new ad campaign I need a...hot girl like you.
The visuals, visually are becoming clear in my mind.
On the beach, two-piece suit.
You are running on the beach in high speed.
You are running and you fall down.
Turn pain turns into pleasure...Apply...Ohhh!
Wow, it sounds very good, sir. I mean, I would love to do it. But before that you have to fall down on my couch
Huh? Oh. We can, ah, practice the "Oh, Ah, Ouch" on my couch?
- You see, to get something... - Then we have to take a nap?
Ha! I sleep with my wife.
I want to be...awake with you.
Ah, but Mr. Carlos, I've never seen you before. I mean, how would I recognize you?
Simple, sweetheart. I'm known as the man in black. Carlos always wears a black suit with a tie.
Fine, then. Ah, what's the address?
- Hello. - Sir, to sent flowers, I'll need the address, please.
- Write down the address. - Yes, sir. (Yes, sir.)
- 34 Ring Road, - Yes. (Yes, sir.)
- Spring Lane, - Yes, sir. (Yes.)
- Go off at 55. - OK, sir, thank you very much. (Yes, sir, I'm on my way.)
- Hello. - Oh!
The number you have dialed in not reachable. Please call again later.
Out of reach? How would she reach?
Good. Thank you.
Steven, Brian called from the airport.
- He will be here in a few minutes. - OK.
Darling, would you mind removing your hand?
The coffin is getting stained.
Fish is the queen of water.
Water is her life.
If you touch her, she will be scared.
If you take her out, she will die.
- Maria! - Yeah? - There's been a dog in the car.
- What? - I'm sure that it was a dog.
Who let the dogs out! Who! Who! Who let the dogs out! Who! Who!
There's Uncle Murphy! Stop, stop.
- Uncle Murphy! We have arrived. - Where have you been, scoundrel?
- Hello...Hello. - Oh, Brian, my son.
Your dad left me alone.
He didn't think once about how I would live without him.
- By the way, did you have any problems on your flight? - Ah, it was crazy, mom. Very.
- Eh, Steven. - Hi, bud.
Though I can't tell you kids really how bad the weather was. Really. Hi, Nancy.
Nancy, you know, dad's death didn't shock me as much as the plane shook me up.
My back...it hurts.
Do you know how much a first-class ticket costs?
You know, it doesn't matter how much you pay, airplane crashes,
instead of landing, you take off to God.
You're like a bloody dead dog, mom.
Mom! Mom.
What? Have I said something wrong?
- Fuck, you just spoke about death, Brian. - So?
And uncle Murphy, how was your treatment?
Bullshit! My bloody doctor is not good enough to graduate third-grade in any school anywhere...even in Rampoor.
And how are you, Jenny?
Fine, uncle. Everything is fine.
Only, my husband is sleeping with other women.
You bloody cursed dog, you embarrass my niece, too. Huh?
Two-tiimer, are you? OK, you already have two. Too much power. Too much money, huh?
????
Uncle, look at this woman. What would I do with another one?
See, now there's already no parking spaces anywhere.
How about that? When they come out, you can pull in the spot.
Hey, Maria!
- That's my parking space. - Sorry Carlos, first come, first served. It's your loss.
Fucking hell, with cheese.
Hey, Maria.
- Maria, who is this lizard? - Come on, honey.
She didn't even look at me, man.
I told you, she thinks you're pig shit.
- Michael. - Ah, Maria.
The leaves are so green, so green.
Now I have to find a new parking space.
- Jenny, she didn't even look at me, man. - Shut up now.
Wait.
Hey, where you...where you-you going? You need to take uncle Murphy with you.
Yeah, Back it up!
Get this, Back it up! Watch out!
You don't know how to drive backward.
God, no. Please don't start, uncle, just a second.
- What you gonna do, eh? - Sometimes you are ???.
G for grass.
G for green.
G for Goa.
G for...
- Gand (Ass). - Michael. What the hell is wrong with you?
What the heaven is wrong with you, Maria? Ha-ha.
Maria, has he always been this crazy.
No, Harry. I think there's something wrong.
Is the TV on?
I need the TV on.
Might be that Relaxo drug doesn't suit him.
Relaxo!
The bottle that was on your table.
- You gave him that medicine? - Yeah.
Yeah, we can drive for a little.
- Michael. - Oh, golly. That was a 2-inch bazooka.
Oh, Jesus, help him... No, Jesus. Help me.
If he dies, then I will go to prison.
Thank you, uncle. Thank you for coming. Thank you very much.
My dad was a great man.
God, bro. All of Goa is here.
- He was a great man. - And in many different ways.
Now look at him.
Who on earth is that guy?
Don't know. I haven't seen him before. Both mom and dad had lots of relatives.
Thank God I don't have to live here.
How will mom deal with all these relatives?
But you're taking mom to Mumbai along with you, as discussed by us earlier.
And by the way, Nancy and I may have found a flat today. We might move out.
Bro, bro,bro. Just hold on. I can't take mom for a few months, although that's not even for sure.
I can't take mom to Mumbai right now. All right?
You're a successful writer. It's not like you don't have room.
- I mean, you have a beautiful house. - Don't.
Do you have any idea how expensive living in Mumbai is?
And with my life style. And where mom would go.
The disco, man? Disco, man.
Do you know what the fee for a disco costs? Or expenses for Tango and Mambo and other things.
- Who is this Tango and Mango people? - Not Mango.
Mambo. I'm very sentimental about the names.
One is a pug, he is really cute, he's my little baby.
And there's a labrador.
He's tough, good looking, rough, fully like a man.
I love them. Pure-breed dogs.
Dogs!
I don't believe you, Brian.
Jenny should kick your ass, there's another woman.
You carry condoms in the car, hey?
Uncle, it's not mine.
You're wrong. Why do you have to do that?
Remove the wheel chair from the car. Don't you listen to anybody?
Dirty old frog.
Well, ???, as someone who believes in me, just go down until you make them sing me a song.
Hey! Careful. That isn't your father's van.
- And it's not your father's stuff. - Hey!
I don't want to discuss this with you anymore.
- You are taking mom to Mumbai, OK. - You're not trying to understand. I have a life... - But you can... I always...
- You're not understanding. I have a life... - But you can... I always...
Hello, Steven. How are you doing?
- Coping, Father. - Oh.
- Very sorry to hear about your father. How did he die? - Heart attack, Father.
Treadmill jogging casualty.
- What speed? - 10.5, Father.
Ah, speed! Ah, speaking of speed.
We'll have to speed up the whole thing.
I have to go early.
I have another funeral contract at 4.
- I mean, I have to attend it. - Of course, of course.
Plus, when uncle Murphy comes, we will start the formality.
And by the way, Father, that's my younger brother, Brian.
Oh! The writer. Of course.
- Then you're giving the farewell speech? - Uh, no! Steven gets to give the speech.
- You must be joking. - No, I'm not.
I mean, Steven...
Oh! Steven, of course. Steven will give a good speech. Excuse me.
- Did you hear that? - What?
- I think Steven is giving the speech. - How strange.
Oh, Henry! ???
- I'm so sorry about Douglas, little sister. - I miss him!
- He was a wonderful human being. - And a great husband.
How is your daughter, Maria?
Oh, she's fine. She's on the way.
And I hope that Michael is with her.
Look at our status, and look at his.
Today's generation. They're different.
I am at the mercy of my son's decisions, too.
I will go whereever they take me.
Want some tea?
If dead people came back to drink your tea,
then I might drink. Come on, Henry.
She always gives me rude answers.
If I don't leave here, I'll kill her. I have to escape from this place.
- In Mananna... - Sorry, Steven. - may be dead.
- In Mahanna...1943... - Could you just...
Pintu has waited for a long time, give him the deposit right now.
How could you do this, Nancy? So many people are here, what will they think of us?
No problem, sir! I'm comfortable, sir.
Nancy, look, please! I'm already upset about this speech.
Can you do your deposit book later? You know, I'm...
Look at him, how he's staring at me.
- Who is he? - Who?
That short guy, right there. Who is he?
Oh, Steve. Stop thinking about that guy
and get the flat footage details from Pintu.
I can't tolerate your mother.
Steve, please, after this speech, first thing,
- you will give the deposit to Pintu. Right? -Right. Yeah, right, right.
Douglas was a great man.
He was well respected around here.
???.
Maria, beautiful pataa. Kataa, kataa. A little kataa, but beautiful kataa.
Excuse us.
- Maria, something important you need to hear. - What?
- First, promise me, you'll chill out. - What's the matter?
It wasn't medicine in the Relaxo bottle. He has taken highly intoxicating drugs.
- I don't believe this. - You have to believe it. See what he doing?
Look at his condition.
Just-Just-Just a minute.
How did you get those drugs?
They weren't mine, they belong to my friend, he left them at my home.
So I put them in the Relaxo bottle.
You and your sick friends. What do I do? I'll go and tell him.
No, no, no, no. He has gone half-mad.
If you tell him, he will become completely mad. No way. You have to control him.
Oh, God!
- Michael! - Michael, Michael!???
My father was a great man.
Sorry, I didn't mean anything.
- Sorry to hear about your father. - Yeah.
He was an amazing man.
He was strong man, ???
Yeah. Died of a heart attack.
- He was jogging at the time. - Doing 10.5, right?
Yeah.
He always had praise for you.
Did he say anything about me?
- Who are you? - Andrew. Andrew Symonds.
Andrew Symonds. He never mentioned you to me, but thank you so very much for coming.
Excuse me, I just have to finish...
- Thank you. - ???. I can't do this.
Everyone is ready for the speech.
You do it, I can't.
Come on, bro. Don't curse yourself.
It's all easy. It'll all be OK. Just don't worry.
Today everyone is wearing a black suit.
How can I pick out Carlos among them?
- Bro, who's she?
- Don't ask me, I don't know. - ???
I'll find out for you. You concentrate on your speech.
????. Enjoy. - Yeah, OK. - Hi.
I wonder if he might be Carlos.
Ah, hi. Ayesha.
- Of course, Ayesha. How do you do, Ayesha? - Fine.
Ayesha, why you fell down? Ayesha, Pushya, why you fell down. Why...
All right.
Anyhow.
It's so nice that you came.
I had to come.
- So? - So? - So?
When shall we start?
Hmmm. I think she is asking about the speech. Oh, yeah.
In a few moments.
We can...?
But is this the right place? I mean...
- Is this the right place? - Of course, it's my father's funeral.
- ???? You are going to... - Yeah.
Everyone wants that I do it,
but I want my elder brother to do it.
- See? - My father was a great man.
- But why your brother? - Elder brother.
Isn't it his right?
Of course. Excuse me.
Come on, move. Move, you bloody bug. You bloody bug.
- You... - You hurt my ass.
- ??? - ???
That's why you're such a bloody sucking ???? pataa. Come on, push.
You're not scared?
- Bug. You bloody bug. - ????
- Hi, Ayesha. - Hi, Steven.
How did your dad die?
Heart attack.
- He was a jogging type. - Oh. Speed?
10.5.
It was a good English film, no?
The first part was great, but the second wasn't. No?
- Excuse me? - Tell me...
Your brother was saying that you are going to...
Of course! Of course, I am going to do it.
Actually, believe it or not, before ??? came in I was nervous.
Even until Brian said, my wife said, in fact, my mom said...
...said...I must do it. And I will do it.
And believe me, I will do my best.
- You just watch. - He will do it.
And his father would have been proud.
that at his funeral, his son did the job.
- Mary had a little lamb... - What are you gonna do?
- Dad? - Dad, hi. - What you doing?
Thanks for remembering that I am your father.
You are late like always.
- Is he the reason you're late this time? - It happens.
- Also, he's my boyfriend. - Boyfriend. - Maria.
I'm so glad to see you.
I don't believe uncle wants anything to do with me.
I'm sorry, auntie.
Why do people die?
- ???? do they, auntie. Why do they die? Why?
If he keeps doing this, then he'll turn this funeral into a circus.
It's all your fault.
What it? ????
Hey, Maria! May I say one thing?
You look marvelous...in that dress.
It's my simplest dress.
- I'm wearing it for the funeral. - But you're wearing it,
and anything looks good on you.
But, there is only one thing left.
Special earrings for the special girl. Huh, uh. Don't ask me the price.
- Just keep them, keep them. - I needn't ask the price,
because it will insult you.
These earrings are available on signal street for 2 rupees.
- All disfavor? Rejecting my favor? For him? - Yes. Any problem.
No, no, no, no. I don't have any problem. HE is full of problem. Look at him.
Maria! Hey!
Tell me one thing, Steven.
- Why did you call your father "daddy cool"? - Some other time, uncle. Excuse me.
I have to discuss an important thing. For just two minutes.
- Actually, I'm... - I'm pleading. Andrew. Andrew.
No time. Sorry, Andrew.
Uncle Murphy has just arrived, I've got to receive him, OK.
We'll talk after my speech. I'll be back.
He hurt my ass.
Now, be careful. You make a mistake, I'll break your legs.
Break my legs? What a bloody ???.
I have lost my mind, don't talk to me.
Please be careful. This bloody dumbbell.
- I'll help. - Come on.
- Alonzo. - Hi, Steve.
- Thank you. - Hey, dude.
- Thank you, so much. Thank you. - You're welcome.
- Huh? - Bloody idiots, they are.
- Thank you? Jen. - Carlos?
- Shit! - where have you been?
I suppose you must have met someone? In the parking lot.
- Ouch! - Come on. After the services, we'll discuss it.
My God. So, Carlos must be him.
Come on Ayesha, get to work.
That bloody idiot. He is upset about his life, and he made me upset. Eh!
You can start.
- Excuse me. - Sure.
Brothers and sisters!
If you will take your places, then we can start the service. Please.
I can't believe it.
Alright.
I'd like to start with the favorite passage of Douglas, from the King James Bible, in the first book of Samuel.
- You stink to high heaven. - Then stop smelling me, you dog.
- ???? - ????
I brought uncle Murphy here, and you took the credit.
Shush! Quiet!
What shush are you doing to me, huh?
If you didn't take my parking space, maybe I wouldn't have become exhausted bringing uncle here.
He's as heavy as a bull, and he's always complaining. Ning-ning-ning-ning-ning-ning-ning...
????
Please. If you don't stop shouting like a maniac, I'll slap your face right here.
I remember your granny's funeral.
- ???? - ???? - ???? - ????
- It's dad's funeral, please. - We have sinned.
And now, Douglas Lazarus's son, Steven Lazarus.
will give the farewell speech for his father. Now.
- Bloody swine! - Ahem. Thank you all for coming.
Today, dad must be happy
to see all you people here.
Dad would say...
Ah, sorry, sir. That's my mobile. I dropped it inside.
First time this happened with Karan.
Sorry, sir. You continue. Sorry.
????!
My dad was a great man.
One minute.
Before someone asks again, dad had a heart attack,
Treadmill jogging casualty, speed was 10.5 km.
My father was a great man.
He was born in 1942,
????.
5 years before independence.
There was an old building in Goa Beach. When it belonged to Portugal.
It was a prison before, but then
became a private maternity hospital.
There, he was born after 18 hours of labor pain.
????,
Oh, he has gone way back for all these the memories
In our childhood. He took us on many fantasies.
From Benjium to Vasco de Gama was our daily route.
???????????
He had many friends
who lived in Karawan, at the end of Goa,
near the Karnatak border.
????
- Did you see that? - What?
- ???? - Yeah.
The coffin...is moving.
Michael. Relax. Nothing's happening. ????
???
????
I am not moving, the coffin is moving.
???? It just moved. Look, it's moving.
I think I have come to a fool's wedding.
- The coffin did that. - Michael, stop, OK. - The coffin did that.
- Michael, be still. - It's moving.
Michael?
- Coffin is moving! - Let go. Behave.
No! Coffin;s moving!
Can't you see?! ????
Coffin is moving!
- ???? - Michael... - Are you blind?!
- Can't you see? - Damn it.
Here, Michael.
Go! Go, ??? !
Go!
- Come back. - Hello, uncle ???.
Maria? Maria, what's wrong?
Oh, my God!
I'm gonna save you!
- Michael. - I'm gonna save you!
- Michael, everything is OK. Michael - I'm gonna save you!
Mom!
Mom! It's OK, it's-It's OK.
Mom, sit. Mom, sit. Take care of mom. When Michael comes...
Moving! The coffin, Maria! The coffin is moving!
- Maria! Maria, what the hell is this? Please ask him to leave. - Please, please.
- Get him out of here. - Please, please, please.
It's not his fault. That the way ??? thinks of you.
Please go and handle mom.
I'm not lying.
Is that guy crazy, or what?
- Leave me, for God's sake. - But, you better handle him, yeah?
Sir, everyone decide to take a tea break inside.
If you want to give me the deposit...
Suppose your father's body falls out again.
It will be chaos. Very big chaos.
Afterward, I will feel awkward taking the deposit.
- Don't you worry about me. No problem! I'm comfortable! - Listen to me, and listen to me carefully.
If you ask me for the deposit again,
then I will kick you between your legs
so that you will forever say,
"I am very uncomfortable, sir". You get it?
I will kill. I won't spare you.
He...is here.
- I'm gonna get... - No, no, no. Please, dad.
- Please, let him go. - Let him go?
He is not letting go of a dead person,
and you're telling me to let him go, huh?
He totally ruined the funeral. Grow up, Maria, grow up.
- You are making excuses for him. - Dad, Michael never behaves like this.
- He took some drug capsules by mistake. - Drugs?
- What drugs? - Drugs...I mean, Relaxo.
Relaxo made him become like this?
The Relaxo was expired, that's why it's such a strong reaction.
How sad, now dad, look at him. He's not the caveman any more. Please, look at him.
Maria...after the funeral, we have to talk. OK?
I'll come if you say so. I'll come if you say so.
- Disgusting. - He is gone.
Maria! You have to believe me.
The coffin was mov...
Maria...my hands are bigger than possible.
- Get them! Get them! - Michael! Michael! Michael!
????
When he fell out of the coffin, it was like...some sort of a frog hopped out.
- Huh? - Never mind.
- Steven? Don't worry. Everything will be OK. ???? - I hope so. I really hope so.
What happened? Why are you looking down?
I'm disappointed in your character...it's bad.
That's why I'm looking down.
Listen, Jen, OK. All the ways... You're a little bad all the time.
What do you ???? Talk about ????. Come here.
What's with you?
There's lots of girls here.
If you start flirting again...
- Don't you dare to pretend... - Carlos. Ayesha. When are we going to...?
What? What is... When do we get to do it?
- This is my wife. - Hello. Excuse me, too.
????. Not to take it back.
Turn pain into pleasure. Apply just once.
- Maria? - Yes, Michael.
- I'm telling you. - Yes. Michael, calm down.
- Sit? - Yes, Michael.
- Fall down. - Fall down.
- Here. Sit down, Michael. - The coffin was...
- Yes, Michael. Please calm down, Michael. - I hear.
- Calm down. - Yeah.
Now, listen to me carefully.
When I gave you the relaxation medicine at Harry's home...
- Uh-Huh! - That wasn't relaxation medicine.
- Uh-Huh. - That was a drug. - Uh-Huh!
It was an intoxicant.
An intoxicant?
What was the dosage?
- About 12 hours. - About 12 hours?
- You bastard. - It was a human mistake.
If it's true that humans make mistakes, let me make the mistake of killing you.
- What's this all about. - Michael. Michael.
- Maria! - Hey!
Michael.
Michael. Michael, please open the door, Michael.
Michael, open the door. Michael.
- Maria, did you see my Relaxo bottle? - I don't care about your drugs.
- Michael, please open the door. - Oh, shit, shit.
Michael.
Michael, open the door.
Some people are shocked after their leaving.
Sure.
Look, if you've got a bit of time maybe to talk...
Okay, speak up.
Not here. Elsewhere.
OK. Let's go to the study. Come, please.
Excuse me. Could we, please.
Please.
- Excuse me. - Do you know that?
- Yes, I wrote it when I was a kid. - Like your younger brother.
- You wanted to discuss something important? - So, can I please?
- Uh-huh. - He...
Douglas and I were close, very close...
- We've known each other for 15 years. - OK.
Look at this picture.
Your father and I went to Delhi. This was taken at Kutub Minars.
Oh, yeah. This, beach.
We were on a horse on the merry-go-round.
Guess what? We both loved riding.
Oh, yes, in the yard.
I look crappy in that. I'm not that photographic.
Yes.
I'm sorry. Don't feel bad...so you're saying that dad and you were very close...
Fine. How come we didn't know about it. He never even spoke about you.
Yes?
- Actually,... - Em? - your father and I...
Huh?
I don't know...lovers.
What?!
- We were lovers. - What?!
How did...
Steven, why did you close the door? Are you gay, too?
Shut up!
- Shit! - See? That's why he didn't tell you.
Dougs was afraid of that reaction from you.
- Dougs? - Oh, uh.
- I used to call him Dougs with love. - OK, OK, OK.
- Did mom know about it. - Oh, no.
She doesn't know, and she'll not have to know, if I get my share.
- Share? - Of course.
- I should have my share. - Share?
- Are you very crazy, or what? - I'm his lover, remember.
- At least 20 lakhs. - 20 lakhs?
- Yeah. - Are you...
One moment...do you think you can blackmail me with these photographs? Huh?
Anyone can fake pictures like these. This is no damn proof, Mr. Andrew.
OK.
Look at this.
What's up? You're shocked?
Oh, God.
Steven, believe!
I didn't want to do this. But you are forcing me.
If I don't get 20 lakhs...before the end of the funeral,
I'll expose the reality of your father's life.
Your father's image...and honor...is in your hands now.
Get me the money...otherwise... I'll bloody expose your father.
You're wasting your time. In fact, you should move to Mumbai. Move, right?
- Excuse me. Bro. - What? - Something happened.
- What's blooming happened? - It's an emergency. Come with me.
- Oh, God. - Come on.
- What is it? - Come on.
Brian? Oh, whoa. That android...
- Call him Andrew. - The one who was hanging around the coffin all the time. - Uh-Huh.
- He showed me father's and his pictures. - Uh-Huh.
- And, Brian... Dad and he were...very close. - Uh-Huh.
- Dad and he were very...close. - For Christ's sakes
- Even as my broth... Why keep saying that? - But, bro...
- More, dad was a lover to him. - What the...?
- Dad was a gay? - Uh-huh.
- Mom is the wife of a gay? - Uh-huh.
- You and I are the sons of a gay? - Uh-huh.
- Are you going to ask that all day? - Well, shit!
Dad? With that mosquito? I don't believe it.
I saw the pictures with my own eyes.
- Steven? Position? - What?
I'm talking about MY position.
If people come to know that my dad was gay, what about my position and image?
What will people say about me?
This little worm, he's trying to blackmail us.
- What? Blackmail? - He wants...20 lakhs.
If we don't give him money, he'd reveal it to everybody.
- He's going to expose dad, that dirty swine. - 20 bloody lakhs!
- Wait a second. Are you sure that that thing's truth? - Have a look at it.
My God, it's an orgy, bro. Oh!
- Have you seen Jenny? - It's sad, man. She called me shitface, man!
- Oh! - I'm bummed out, man.
- What happened, man? Where is she? - Huh?
- Jenny, brother. - She went to the bathroom with some women.
- That's all I wanted. - What?
Sweetheart, baby. My little honeybee. I-I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, pleas...
OK, I'm going on my knees, OK. OK, I'm going on my knees,
I really wasn't flirting with her.
I know it seemed like that, because she was standing there.
But, whatever you think you saw, it wasn't what you saw.
Whatever you heard wasn't really what you heard...
I love you, man. Damn it. Do you...remember? Naughty coochie-cooing on the beach?
Remember?
Love on the rocks. Wearing shoes and socks.
You forgot?
When I would sing, "Boom, I send for you. Boom, boom, boom, let's go back to my room."
I could you forget, man. I love you, man. I want you. I want YOU!
- Carlos! - Wife?
Wife! Oh, shit! Oh, shit. Meet my wife. My wife.
- How are you? - No. - I'm going to take your life!
- OK. OK. OK. - Kill. - Baby.
- What happened, my child? - Nothing, Father.
My husband just slept with another woman.
- Bless me, Father. Carlos! - Just-Just be careful with that knife.
- Michael! - I'm unrolling all of the paper roll.
I'll eat the paper roll today.
Michael, open the door. Michael, please.
So, you're the peanut-sized blackmailer.
Size doesn't matter, Mr. Brian. And for your information...
I'm not blackmailing...I came to ask you for my share of love.
I had no one except him.
Neither before nor after.
It's my novel.
If you leave it open, anyone can turn the pages.
- Let's get to the point, Andrew. Please. - OK. Fine with me.
Give him the cheque, bro.
I'll give you a cheque in exchange for those photographs.
And in your lifetime, you'll never show your face around here. Is that a deal?
- Deal. - Fine.
- But...your last novel was fantastic. Good stuff. -Thank you.
- Steven. Is this your first time? - Of course, I've not been blackmailed before.
No, no, no. I don't mean that.
- I am talking about your novel. - Yeah. It is my first time.
Everybody feels an itching.
I've itched, too. Not for writing.
But writing a novel is not a bed of roses.
It's a gift. Not everybody has it.
All of us are not famous or talented or...
And I must tell you, your last novel was fantastic, superb. It was amazing.
I want to read it once again.
- Your cheque, Mr. Andrew. - What did you do? - What you told me.
To cut the cheque. So I cut it.
I'm not giving money to this blackmailer.
You're forcing me to dishonor your father.
- Are you gonna sign it or not? - I won't.
You'll be very sorry.
Do it, bro...or dad's secret will be revealed.
I don't care, Brian. I don't care.
He comes to dad's funeral, tries to blackmail us, and, on top of that, says bad things about my novel.
I'm not going to take this shit. I have my own self-respect, my dignity.
- What does he have? What proof? - Proof? I've got these photos,
telling the secret story of... Andrew and Douglas to the world.
Whenever the topic of lovers is written... Andrew and Douglas will be at the top.
- Get your hands off me! - Hey, hey, hey! - Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian.
- Don't you listen? - You're not going anywhere.
- Why not? - You'd blackmail us, huh?
- Brian, please, keep it-keep it down! - Steven, grab a rope. Get a rope!
- Get a rope. - From where?
From the curtain! Quickly!
Tie him. Tie his feet. - Hold it, hold it, hold it.
Shut up! Shut up! Water! water!
- Done. Silence! - Silence!
- Shut up! - Bro, get something to put in his mouth.
Shut up! Shut up!
Get something, anything!
Fine! Fine!
- Oh, yes. - Yes, yes.
- Let's keep him down. - You got it.
Pick him up.
- Carlos... - Close the damn door!
What are you doing, huh? Killing the kid?
What are you doing?
- Shussh. Does he look like a kid to you? - He's a man.
We are not killing him, we're saving him. Come on.
- What happened to him? - It-It was an attack, a seizure.
- He had a seizure? - Huh.
- He had a fit? - Huh.
- And cranky? - Huh. And how.
Then I have a solution.
- What? - Relaxo. Relaxo painkiller. Quiets and calms.
- Give it to me, now.
- One enough? - No, give him more.
Now open. Good. That's a good boy.
One. Two. And three. And go!
- Have you seen ????. - Harry, close the door. Lock it. Lock it.
- What are you doing with him? - He had an panic attack.
Why do you have him tied with rope?
He's a thief. He came to steal father's Kutub Minar.
We caught him.
Hey, one minute, one minute. Where did the Kutub Minar come from, huh?
You said he had an attack?
Yes, we did...a thief can't have an attack?
Aha. Good reason for an attack.
He was stealing and bro punched him, so he got the fits. Look at him.
I have given him Relaxo and everything will be fine.
- Relaxo? What kinda Relaxo? - This one, man. It's a prescription.
- What the fuc... Shit! - It's not for shitting. It's for relaxingment.
Shit! Shit! Sh... Oh! Shit! Shit! Shit!
- What Happened? - Shit.
- Harry? Tell us. - What?
This isn't Relaxo. It's a highly hallucinative drug.
Maria's boyfriend took one tablet and he went crazy.
- How many tablets did you give him, huh? - Three! - Three?!
- Shit! Shit! Just remember, you gave it to him, not me. - Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. Listen, listen.
Will he die?
- No. - No.
- You sure? - Huh?
- Now what was that? - Steven.
- Oh, shit... - God, Mom.
- Brian? - Mom, coming, mom.
- Coming. - Carlos, you stay here while the rest of us go.
Don't let the thief escape. Yeah?
And please close the door behind us. Come on, come on, come on.
Shit!
- Yes, mom? - Oh.
Father wants to get started.
- How many times do I have to tell you? - Of course, Father. Five minutes?
- It's not possible to go... - It gonna be five minutes!
Excuse me.
Father...Don't mess with him...or else he'll beat you.
For a life of uncomfortable hurt each day.
- Father, I have a cottage for sale. Interested? - No, thank you.
No problem. I'm comfortable.
What happened? Why do you look so bored? What's your problem?
Ah, I knew it. I knew it. Your worry problem is a woman, isn't it.
Remember just one thing, you dog.
There's a single solution to all such problems.
- What's the answer? - That chick.
Yes, that chick. Kiss the lovely chick. Very cultured. Shit will fly.
It's coming, right now! God.
Come on, lead the way, your bloody job. Come on, lead the way. Lead the way, your bloody job.
Get up. Get outta my way. Get outta my way.
Even if you did give it thinking it was Relaxo, the doctor didn't prescribe that quantity.
- What have you done? - He said to give three, so I gave him three.
- You mean I don't ???. ??? - See who's at the door.
Wait. See who's at the door. At the door. The Door.
- Who's there? - Carlos, who? I'm standing outside.
Open the door.
I want to go to the toilet now. Now hurry up!
Uncle, go to the toilet upstairs.
I'm in a wheelchair.
How do I get upstairs?
Open the door or so help me, I'll kill you!
- What to do? He wants to come in. - Hide him behind the sofa.
????
Hurry up! Hurry up! What? Come on, Harry, get me inside, you bloody dickens.
What the hell are you doin' inside, huh?
Hurry up, Josie, or I'll poop in my pants.
- Quick, quick, quick, quick. - Mikie, please open the door. Michael.
- Maria, Maria. - God, not again.
Sometime, no lovers, no ???, love-it relationship with my Maria.
Yeah. Like you love me and I hate you. ????
You are a nobody. You're just an object.
- If I'm an object, so use me, Maria. Use me. - Shut up!
You shut up. This really is about... Think about it...
what does he have that I don't have? Huh?
He's a gentle, kind, sober, decent... Everything you're not.
Ah, Harry!
Hurry up, you bloody idiot.
- Put me down, jackoff! - ????
You bloody ???. ????
Yeah! ????
- It's here. - Maybe no, till we're both ready.???
It's got to come!
- Pull my underwear down. - Why do I have to pull your underwear down?
It's gonna blow! ???
I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it.
????
No. Noooo.
That from the shitter? Go and wash up!
Protect her, somehow.
What to do?
He was about to show the photos, goddamn it.
If mom came to know about it, how would you feel?
Aha, if mother came to know, like you damn care.
If you're so worried about mother, why don't you take her with you to Mumbai.
- You and your damn double standard, Brian. - Stop, stop it, bro! Just stop it!
- Actually, you're jealous of me. - Jealous?
Because I've become a big novelist. I'm not like you, dragging out one book for years.
What did you say? You have time to waste.
You have money to buy a beautiful house.
When your dad is going to be exposed
and someone is blackmailing us
so, who will cut the cheque? Steven.
Brian, the novelist, no.
Ah, come on, man. Don't act like you're great, man. You're not great.
You're a coward...you're scared of sister-in-law, your wife, Nancy.
Why the shouting? What's happening? Wait a minute.
I knew it. You don't want to move to a new flat.
Nancy, It's not about the new flat.
- So, what's the matter? - Nancy, You'll be knocked flat when you hear it. Steven, tell her.
Nancy...well...
There is a dwarf man who is controlling me.
- Bad news. - Huh?
Oh, my God, he's buying our place. Is he trying to buy the flat?
- Come, Nancy. It's not always about you and your flat. - Dad and he were lovers, they had an affair.
What? What rude jokes you make.
He's blackmailing us. If we don't give him money... he'll expose our father. We don't know what to do.
This means...you both are sons of a gay...?
???? totally complicated. Bloody hell. - Carlos, ????
- What's that. - I don't know. Maybe Maria? - ????. OK.
What happened to him? He's not moving.
- Call his name. - I don't know it.
- Tom...Tom... - Tom... - Tom.
Tommy.
Tommy...Tommy.
Tom...Tommy is the name for a dog.
It was just a guess. If Tommy is not good, then try something else.
Let him smell my hand.
- It still stinks. - Please.
- Hello...Hello. - Shout louder. - Hello...Hello...Hello...
- Carlos, he's not conscious. I don't think he's breathing. - Not breathing? Well...
Are you sure he's not breathing?
None.
Nothing.
- Nothing - He's dead? - Yes.
- He's dead! - We're royally screwed!
- Oh, God! - Oh, God! No!
- Harry! - God, no!
- Harry! - Dear God, good God! No!
We need to call somebody, fast. OK.
Wait. Stop crying, you look like an idiot. Keep a smile when you call.
- How's this? - Go!
- Where is he, now? - He's in dad's study.
Excuse me.
What's wrong? Why are you showing your teeth?
Doing an ad for a tooth paste company, huh?
A terrible job has been done inside.
We're destroyed.
We are totally jacked...finished.
Carlos? Is Carlos OK?
- You come, and we'll go see. - You wait, Nancy, please.
God... What happened to him?
You killed him.
It's the medicine. Why are you looking at me, man?
Well...Harry said to give it to him.
You fed him the tablets, you'll go to jail.
I don't want to go to jail.
Police really make me afraid.
I'll never be able to stay quiet. I heard that they use 34th degree torture.
I'll talk. When they start with the...
- Shut up, Carlos. - Hold on, hold on. Relax.
- No one has seen him yet. - They're all unaware.
Nobody knows who he is.
If he disappears, nobody will know.
You can't be serious.
If we get rid of the body, no one will know anything happened.
- Get rid of him. - You're saying "Get rid of him". It's a dead body, man.
He's not shit that you can put in the toilet and flush it.
- Wait a minute. - What?
- There's one place where he will fit. - Where?
In the coffin with uncle Douglas.
In the coffin? You must be joking.
Are you saying...to bury my father with this man?
So, what's the problem? The coffin is a perfect place.
It's a mind-blowing idea, Steven.
And all the secrets will be buried forever.
No way! Blasphemy!
Blasphemy.
I think it's an offensive, idiotic and cruddy idea.
Bro...do you have any other ideas?
It's OK, man.
Steven, come on.
OK, guys. We'll do it.
- But I love you, Maria. - Love is not about expecting, it's about giving.
Then I'm going to give you something.
Ohhh. Maria. Ha-Ha. Michael.
Betrayer...merciless...merciless woman.
Michael! Michael!
- You don't return my love. - Michael, you're taking it wrong.
- Why are you naked? - When did I become naked?
You made me naked, Maria. You.
I might as well die. I'll throw myself down and die.
- Die faster. - Shut up! This is all because of you. Get out.
- Michael. - This is your fault.
Goa, I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump.
Impossible! There's so many people here, how can we carry the body to the coffin?
- ???? - Stop! - Stop. Who the hell is this?
- Who's that? - Hey, Steven...
Open the door quickly. Come on.
Hide the body. Go, go, go.
Quickly! Quickly! Quickly!
- OK! OK! OK! - Quick! Quick! Quick! Quick! In the bathroom.
Hey! Who is that?
- Carlos, what is uncle doing in there? - Shit.
- There was shit...on my hand. - How did it get on your hand, man?
Let-Let's put him there.
Coming, coming.
Steven, man, you've go to check this out.
Michael has gone crazy,...going to jump from the rooftop.
- Oh, God. Oh, shit. - What's wrong?
Everybody will go out and watch. It's our chance. Go, go.
- Close the door. Close the door. - Sealed that. Sealed that.
-Michael, please come inside. It's a misunderstanding. - No! I don't want to listen to you.
- Please. - Keep quiet!
- Shit, shit!
Jesus Christ, he's right.
- Who? Who's there? - Steven
- Steven. - Open it. - You're right.
- The room is empty. - OK, come on in. Come on.
- Come back inside for me, please. - No more words.
- Look out, down there! - Good, good, closer.
Good. Jump, you jerk. Then I can jump on Maria.
Not good. Don't jump. If you do, I'll die. Please.
- Michael, please. - I don't want to listen to you!
Oh, my God. What is this man doing?
Quickly, man.
Stand near the main door. Make sure no one comes in. Go quickly.
- Father, Father! - Uh.
- How's it goin' today? - What?
- How is God today? - Nonsense! I have to go in.
- You can't go in. - Why?
I have a confession. I cheated on my wife.
Come to me later, confess this to me then.
A fool wants to jump from the roof. I have to call the police.
Arggh, Father, you don't understand. I had sex.
- Gay sex. - What?
Yes. I mean...I'm a man outside, but a woman inside.
The world is built on hope.
????
So, I'm in hope.
- Are you pregnant?
Yes! Yes! Father, don't lie to me. I think I'm gonna be mommie. I mean poppa. I mean...
- Both, I guess. Father, have you ever had sex? - What? - Forgive me, I'm sorry.
Michael doesn't want to listen to you. I'm going to kill myself.
- Michael, please come back. Please. - Why should I?
- Better I should die. You don't love me. - Damn it, Michael. I love you.
But you have to be live. For me, for our child.
Yes, Michael. We're going to have a baby.
Our love is coming into this world in the form of a life.
You mustn't do this.
You have to come back, have to get married, have to give a name to our kid.
- I'm...going...to be a father? - Yes, Michael.
Friends! Countrymen! Good news! I'm going to be a father! Yahoo! We're going to have a baby!
Don't like the slap much? You enjoy this? That idiot will marry the woman that I love.
- What happened out there? - Maybe he jumped.
- Oh, my God! - Yes, your God, Father.
Did it, again.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
He didn't jump, but I'll like to push him.
- Steven? - Inside.
Steve? OK, now?
- OK, now. - Thank God.
- But where is Uncle Murphy? I haven't see him. - Oh, my God. Uncle Murphy. Come on.
You and I are going to have a baby.
Maria. You stay away from my daughter, OK?
- Maria, what happened to you? Huh? - Dad, I'm going to get married.
You don't need to marry him. OK? We'll abort the child. As soon as we can.
You'd abort my kid...but how can you abort Michael from my heart?
Shut up!
- Grow up, Maria. Grow up. - No, dad. It's time for you to grow up.
If you don't fix your attitude...you're going to be alone.
????
- Let's go, Michael. - Shit!
Come on, Carlos. Why are you forcing me to wait for you?
Why are you feeling this way?
Don't waste time.
- You cause me love. - I can't.
- No...I can't. - Yes, you can. Yes, you can. - Yes, I can't. - Yes.
Come on, Carlos! Carlos, wait! Oh! Oh!
Oh, shit! I'm dead.
I thought I married a human.
You're not a human. You're my angel.
What happened to you?
You're not a human. You're wonderful.
Forgive me?
I always used to doubt you.
All right?
And today you ran from that hot model.
You had so much control,
just don't forsake me.
- ???. I love you. - Oh, dear. All control here.
You always condum...I mean, condemn me.
????. I love you, Jen. Sorry, Jesus.
First time of my life I was going to cheat on my wife.
You saved me. I promise, God, won't happen again.
I love you very much, Jenny. Let's go. ????
Oh, no. Bad news, Ayesha. You had your heart set. So, just find another Carlos, huh?
- Oh, shut up! That was a 100% dead body. - Uh-huh, it was dad's dead body.
- In the coffin. - My eyes didn't betray me.
- He was dead. - Father's dead. Michael is talking rubbish.
- Steven, can we start? - Of course.
- Do you want a last look? - No, no, Father. It's OK.
- OK. All right. - Good start. - Excuse me, everybody.
Due to some reason we couldn't complete our service. But now that we are ready, please take your seats.
Sit down. Now, come on, everybody, sit down. Take your seats. Hurry up.
Hurry up! Hey, you, sit down! Carlos, come in!
I'll request that Douglas's son, Steven, say a few words about his father's life. Just a few words.
- Here, yes. - Come. Hurry up.
- Go on. - Yes. Yes, man.
My father was a great man.
Holy shit.
My father was a great man.
- Who the hell is knocking? - Who's that?
1942 marked the...
- What the hell is going on here? - I knew it.
Someone is alive in the coffin.
- Oh, my God! - Holy shit!
I'll kill you!!
God!
My father was a great man!
But he wasn't perfect
but he was a good person.
????
Nowadays, that means a lot.
He was my father.
My father fell out of the coffin,
he also fell down in everyone's sight.
Regardless of that...my father's the top in my sight.
And you know, that's all he wanted, that I give him a respectable send-off today.
I agree...my dad had some negative points.
But then again, we can't put a veil over good deeds. And there were good deeds.
People used to ask me why I call my dad "daddy cool".
Because he always told me:
Steven, success and failure is not important. What is important is to try, always. And...he always tried...
to keep everybody happy. And he was very successful.
To live a life is not important, but how you live a life, that's VERY important.
The birds are taught to fly,
and they keep on trying, always,
and when the time comes, then they leave
to fly on their path of life.
The path may be wrong...or right...your kids decide which.
After today's service, I just want respect for my father to be in your heart.
That he was a good husband... A very loving father.
And above all...he was a good man.
Thank you.
Steven.
You spoke many truths, but one you spoke was false.
That your father committed a bad deed.
You father didn't commit any bad deed.
Your father and I didn't have the relationship I said we had.
I told you a lie.
I came to get revenge on him.
That story and those pictures...are fake.
I begged and pleaded and told him, don't do this.
Don't raid my place or-or I'll be ruined.
I tried to give him a bribe, but he was an honest officer.
He raided me, and I was ruined.
Then I decided, first I'll recover my money by blackmailing his children.
And then I'd dishonor his name.
But his son...wouldn't allow his father to be dishonored.
I say...Douglas...was not just a good man...but a great man.
I'm very sorry, brother, very sorry.
Mom.
Wait up, Maria... I'm organizing a get-together next week at the club. And I'd like you...
- I'm not gonna come without Michael. - I don't want you to come...without Michael.
I want to announce...the date of your marriage...
May I?
Michael?...Oh, my God!
Oh! Oh, my God!
???, here's your deposit.
Steven, there's no need for that anymore.
????
It's not important at all.
????
No problem. I'm comfortable. All the best.
Love you.
Hey, Brian. You don't have to take mom back. Don't worry.
- No problem. I really want to do this. - OK.
I'll wait for your return.
Bye.
- By the way, bro. Your speech was excellent. - Thank you.
Also...why don't you send me your novel.
- I'd love to read it. - I will.
Take care.
Bye, mom.
- Hello. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Really? - What?
Uncle Murphy had stomache pains, so, to relax him, I gave him some Relaxo to help his pain.
- Relaxo? Where did you find it? - It was laying on the carpet.
- How many tablets did you give him? - Maybe four or five.
Four or five?
- And I got a call that he... - He what?
- Well... - What?